January 2019

I haven't written in awhile. Depression is a real thing. The cold weather, losing a beloved pet, and stress have all gotten in my way of being productive. I haven't felt much up to writing, we haven't been doing much except hunkering down and praying for warmer weather. We haven't taken many pictures, there's not been much to take pictures of.

So since I last updated, we had to have Lola put to sleep. She was so pitiful and so old. On her last night Dillon made her a hamburger patty and she ate all of it, so because she ate all of that, Dillon made her another one. The only thing is, she was so weak that she fell asleep with her little face in the food bowl while he was cooking the other one. I didn't want to do it, but she was so sad and unwell, I know it was for the best. After she passed, I have just been so sad. Dillon and I have never had a home without a doggie. Even without Lola, it was so quiet in our house. She mostly slept, but she still got up, she still ate treats and she still followed me around. I swore up and down that once these dogs died, I wouldn't have anymore. They messed up our house, it was inconvenient to take trips and I just needed a break. Only, that's what I thought I wanted. After Lola, I mourned (and am still mourning) her and Emma hard. Losing her was like losing both of them all over again. I'd leave for work in the morning with no pup and come home to an empty house and it was just heartbreaking. We started looking for puppies and then we came upon this one dog. Her name was Maizie and she was a 2 year old terrier. We filled out an application and were told that we were at the bottom of the list to adopt her. Only after our references were contacted and they reviewed our application, the rescue center thought that we were a perfect fit for this dog. So we impulsively decided to take her, and it's been a pretty good decision. We've renamed her Ruby and she's a chill little dog that loves our kids and our home. I think that she's still a little nervous (she reallllllyy loved her old home), but she's one of the sweetest dogs I've ever met. It still makes me sad, it makes me miss our other dogs even more and feel like we're cheating on them, but I know they'd be happy that we're making more good memories with another doggie that was in need. Ruby really had just fallen into place at our home and it's good. And she is a terrier and her face looks nothing like Lola's, but when you look at her from behind she's the exact twin of Lola. It kind of breaks my heart all over again.

And in other news, January has still just been a rough month. My mom's not been in the best health and after a bunch of tests, it was decided she needs a lung biopsy (which is kind of a hard procedure) to determine if she has pulmonary fibrosis or another disease that could be from an allergic reaction to something in the air (or somewhere else, we really don't know). That's been a tough thing to manage, too. Lots of doctors appointments and scary medications to take. Luke also had a mishap on the bus, and while I won't go into details, it now means that instead of sitting on our hill waiting for him, I wait in the student pick up line at the school. I also have to travel to Orlando this week for our ZERO race director's meeting and while this usually wouldn't be a big deal, I'm traveling solo (since Luke is in school) and pair that up with me being a poor flyer and the government shutdown, I'm about ready to have a nervous breakdown. HA! Thank goodness that's over in just enough time for me to travel down there and back.

Needless to say, I'm ready to see spring on the horizon, in more ways than one. In health, in pet ownership, in weather, in schooling for our children, and in just general activities for our family. I think if you go back and read my blog entries for the month of January, this is usually a common theme. I usually don't do very well this month, but I do know that we'll get by. The robins are returning, we'll have answers about health concerns and we'll add onto our family even while we're mourning the loss of others. Life moves forward and I'm just glad that I have the good group of people around us that we do.

We also had our first sleepover on Friday! Luke's bff and neighbor stayed with us. They went to bed late and were up at 5:30 the next morning. It was all good though and we had a blast! 

Even though it's been a stressful month, I've been trying to cook healthy dinners. This is my quick pho I tried to make! Definitely not as good as the pho restaurant here in town, but it's a good replacement when you don't want to spend a ton on eating!  Plus, this is a meal that everyone in our family eats! The kids eat basically the broth and noodles while Dillon and I dress ours up!

And here's Ms. Ruby. <3

We got her new food bowls, a new collar and leash and a new bed. The weird thing is that she eats the same food our dogs did so we were prepared for that. I just felt weird about giving her our other dogs stuff. 

I tried to fold laundry with everyone this morning and ended up giving up. I'll work on it tomorrow on my day off!

Luke fell the other day at a restaurant and busted up his knee real good. 

I made a little plant to honor our doggies. We didn't keep Emma's collar so I put a dollar bill that she chewed up with the flower. Luke also drew the photos behind it of our pups and later I added some photos of them so we always have them close. <3

While looking through photos, I found this one of Ozzy and a puppy Emma. When your pup passes, it's just a reminder of how fast our lives move. I miss all of these dogs so very much. 

I also found these of Lola and me on my wedding day.  

Luke and our new pup!

Luke dressed up like daddy!